Acceptance
by Tina Caps
Summary: Ru, Hana and Haruko. In the end, he finally realized the truth, was it all worth it?


**Legend:** _Thoughts_ but for the last parts the Italics will represent flashbacks narrated by the nurse.

**Notes:** RuHana. Shounen-ai. OOC.

**Disclaimer:** Inoue Takehiko owns SD characters.

* * *

ACCEPTANCE

The new captain, Kaede Rukawa, had just announced a five-minute break. Hanamichi sat quietly at the sidelines as he watched Haruko gleefully talk to Rukawa about the team's progress. Rukawa nodded his head once in awhile showing his sympathy to the petite brunette.

Hanamichi sighed.

It took him three years to finally realize the truth.

Haruko will never see me as anything but a friend.

He turned his gaze away when Haruko handed Rukawa his drinking bottle. The brush of hands caused the petite brunette to blush madly.

A sad grin laced his lips.

Yeah, I used to be like that, a lovesick puppy who was willing to defy all bounds just to get the girl of my dreams.

Then the grin faded.

But, was it all worth it?

Suddenly, he felt a jolt of pain as his heart clenched.

She will never know just how much I love her.

His eyes began to sting.

She will never know that everything I did was always for her.

He quickly threw the towel to his face, wiping away the sweat and the lone tear that fell.

No matter how hard I tried, Rukawa will always be her number one man.

He sighed deeply as his shoulders slumped.

Or maybe the truth was there all along…

He closed his eyes, his hand balling into a fist.

… and I was just too blind to see it.

He looked at them again, his pain intensifying to a hundred folds.

The perfect couple.

Haruko never looked so alive and cheerful whenever she was close to Rukawa. And everytime she saw him, a special smile always graced her lips. Rukawa, on the other hand, started noticing her, maybe because she was the team manager or…

… maybe he has feelings for her too!

His body stiffened and he started to shake. A hand shot to his head as he felt the onslaught of an incoming headache.

"Oh gawd, it hurts!" he whispered.

"Hanamichi, are you okay?"

Hanamichi slowly lowered his hand and saw a pair of familiar rubber shoes and a familiar set of pale legs.

"I'm okay Kaede." He lied.

Rukawa sat next to Hanamichi.

"You've been very quiet today." He said. "And you hardly threatened the new members."

"Hm… aren't you talkative today." Hanamichi said, chuckling lightly.

"Do'aho." was Rukawa's retort.

I'm always talkative around you.

Soon practiced had commenced. And even though Hanamichi continued to play devotedly, he had lost his luster that failed to go unnoticed by the team captain.

Hanamichi was the first to enter the shower room and the first to leave. After stepping out, he momentarily stopped to admire the Shohoku gym.

Damn, I'm gonna miss this place.

He started having seconds thoughts about his decision. He knew he was going to leave behind a life that he had learned to love, his friends, basketball and most specially…

Haruko.

His eyes wandered at the end of the court and saw Rukawa teaching the new members some basics.

Take care of her Rukawa.

Sensing that someone was staring at him, Rukawa looked up and saw Hanamichi gazing at him. Hanamichi smiled weakly and waved good-bye.

Rukawa nodded and silently watched as Hanamichi exited the gym. As the redhead disappeared into the distance a weird feeling started to boil inside him.

Something's wrong.

As he was about to follow the redhead Haruko surprisingly appeared out of nowhere.

"Anzai-sensei wishes to see you." She delightedly announced. "The new uniforms and equipment have just arrived and he wants you to see them right away."

Perfect.

Though despite the nagging feeling inside, he had no desire to disobey his sensei and followed Haruko into the storage room.

Maybe I'll just talk to him tomorrow.

It had just stopped raining by the time he got home. Hanamichi took out his keys and undid the locks.

"Man, I'm tired." He said as he tossed his belongings on the sofa.

As he was about to enter the kitchen the answering machine caught his attention. He had one message.

"Yo Hanamichi, sorry we can't make it today. Our boss just asked us to do some overtime. Man, the restaurant is packed and they could use all the help they could get. I'll just see ya tomorrow. Okay. Bye." Yohei finished.

Hanamichi sighed.

"Sure tomorrow."

Rukawa and Yasuda were the last people in the locker room. As Rukawa was packing his dirty laundry that was when he noticed Hanamichi's locker. His brows knitted in speculation.

The do'aho always locks after.

As he approached the redhead's locker that nagging feeling that he felt awhile ago started up again.

You'd be invading privacy.

His mind reprimanded but he refused to hear it.

Something's wrong, I just know it.

His eyes widened when he saw the empty space that occupied his locker.

"What the…"

His suspicions were confirmed.

"Oh shit!" He uttered and quickly turned to Yasuda, who have just finished changing. "Lock up for me, will ya."

"Huh?" Was Yasuda's intelligent reply and barely caught the keys that were thrown to him.

Rukawa hurriedly unlocked his bike and paddled as fast as his feet could produce. He never prayed before in his life but now he silently sent a plea to his Maker hoping that he could get to Hanamichi on time before something serious happens.

After taking out a carton of milk Hanamichi dragged his exhausted frame to the bedroom. He set the milk on the bedside drawer and took out a bottle of sleeping pills. He sat heavily on the bed and opened the bottle. Recommended dosage was one pill, he took out twenty. He stared at the pills in his hand for awhile. His mind was a buzz of confusion, hurt and longing.

"What's the use she doesn't love me anyway."

He swallowed the pills then emptied the carton of milk in one go. While waiting for the pills to set in, he took off his damp shirt and used the blanket to dry to himself.

After a couple of minutes, he started to feel dizzy.

All I want is to be loved…

And fell softly on his pillows.

…_ is that so much to ask._

He threw his bike across the yard and ran to the patio. There was no doorbell so he pounded on the door. He was pounding it so hard; he could've blown it from its hinges.

"Hanamichi!" Rukawa shouted, he tried to turn the knob but it was locked. "Hanamichi, open the door!"

No answer.

He returned to the yard and saw a faint glow of light emitting from the bedroom window.

He's home.

"Hanamichi!" He tried again.

Still no answer.

He quickly scanned the area and saw a ladder near the shed. He ran to get it and hurriedly climbed up to Hanamichi's bedroom.

The moment his feet touched the floor he hastily ran to the redhead's bed. In his haste, he failed to see the bottle under his shoe and plummeted to the floor, his face coming in contact with one of the bed's legs.

"Itai!" He said, feeling a minor throb at the side of his face. He focused his vision on the abstraction and saw an empty bottle. He reached for it and read the label.

Oh shit!

The bed creaked as his weight landed roughly next to Hanamichi's limp body. Rukawa's eyes widened when his hand touched the redhead's shoulders. He was cold.

"No!"

He started to shake him frantically. Hanamichi's head falling forward and back lifelessly.

"Hanamichi!"

Then he pressed his ear against the redhead's chest.

There was no heartbeat.

He quickly prepped himself for a CPR.

… in tune with your heartbeat.

He started to press his chest.

Hanamichi, I'm not gonna loose you.

He pressed his chest harder.

Not now…

His vision began to haze.

Not ever!

Hot tears soiled his pale face.

"Hanamichi, snap out of it!"

ONE YEAR LATER

The nurse escorted him to the room after their brief conversation. He tightly held the bouquet of roses in his hand as the she turned the knob and led him in.

"You have fifteen minutes." Said the nurse. "Then visiting hours is over."

He nodded his head in compliance and watched as the nurse quietly closed the door behind her.

He stood there for awhile scanning the room. It was modestly furnished and flowers filled every corner, contrasting the dull and pale surrounding.

"I brought you roses." He said and set them at the bedside table.

Then his eyes traveled to her sleeping face. Her hair had grown longer now. And despite the pale complexion, she still looked beautiful.

"I'm sorry." He said as he bowed his head.

"It's sad really." Said the nurse. "She's been in a coma for six months and I see very little hope of her ever waking up."

"But we knew you wouldn't understand."

"Those pills she took were pretty strong." She continued. "It almost killed her." She shook her head in pity. "Good thing her brother got to her on time."

"You were always so ascertained and sensible that if you ever found out about us, it could destroy you."

"According to her friends, the mysterious disappearance of her best friend and the man she loved made her very upset." Then her browse knitted. "But that wasn't the cause of her suicide."

"I knew that was you." He paused. "It was raining hard that night and you forgot your umbrella. You were standing in the shed, holding the groceries against your chest." He shook his head. "The driver made a wrong turn and that was how you discovered us." He breathed deeply. "And more than you needed to see."

He held her hand as a sad smile formed on his lips.

"He saved me that night. That night when I thought all hope was lost." He chuckled lightly. "Weird, I had to experience death before I finally understood… about us, me and him." He looked out the window, admiring the Sakura tree that was blossoming beautifully. "All I wanted was someone to love me and he was willing to give it."

He gently squeezed her hand.

"That's why we had to do it." He said, staring tenderly at her sleeping face. "Because I didn't want to see you hurt. But, I knew eventually the truth was gonna come out. And that night, Fate must've been thinking the same."

A cough echoed through the silent room. He quickly whirled his head and saw the nurse pointing at her watch. He nodded his head and returned to face her.

"Get well soon Haruko." He said as he brushed aside the strands that fell on her forehead. "Your friends and family miss you so much." Then he kissed her forehead. "Someday, you'll find the right man for you and he will love you more than life itself." He slowly made his way to the door. "I should know because I once loved you." And gently closed the door behind him.

Missing the small smile that graced her pale lips.

THE END


End file.
